I must start off this review by saying that after watching both the televised versions of the U.S. SOI tour this year, I wasn�t expecting a whole lot from the show � I was actually considering skipping it for the first time in eight years, but the fact that many of my favourites (Kurt, B&K, B&E, Kristi, Yags) were on tour as usual made me decide to go at the last minute. As a result, my seat wasn�t great � 300-level, and on an end, so if my jump IDs are totally wrong, someone feel free to e-mail me and correct me freely.

Another thing I must say before I start is that with one glance at the music list, I thought the show was arranged/ordered in completely the wrong way. If someone would�ve given me three minutes with the music list, I would�ve swapped programs around like crazy, pairing things in various ways that I thought would�ve worked far better than the incoherent musical/thematic mishmash that this show was in a lot of sections. Some of the pairings I would�ve tried seem absolutely obvious to me � pairing B&K�s MJ medley with Kristi�s Janet Jackson number, or Yags� Enigma program with B&K�s� stuff like that. But hey, I don�t run the show. I�m just a critic. J

Onwards�

Superstar, Joi Cardwell � Lucinda Ruh

Lucinda enters and stars the night off with a blinding combination spin under a single spotlight. Very effective opening.

Black Betty, Ram Jam � Cast

Fantastic outfits � those of you who�ve seen the U.S. version will know what they look like� red and pink corset-style sequined tops and miniskirts for the girls, along with matching gloves and feather boas (very Moulin Rouge), and red leather pants with black and red long-sleeved shirts for the guys. Nothing really special struck me about the opening � it was a pretty standard entrance, lots of line work, and the song is the type that�ll be incessantly stuck in my head for days. Biggest applause in the intros went to Kurt, followed by Yags and Shae & Victor.

Lady Marmalade, Christina Aguilera, Li�l Kim, Mya, Pink � Kristi Yamaguchi, Shae-Lynn Bourne, Isabelle Brasseur, Jenni Meno, Lucinda Ruh

What can I say about this part except that a) I despise this song, and b) I despise any "skating" that�s more Bezic sex-kitten butt-wiggling and coy face-making than actual skating. The faster this part was over, the better, IMHO� when the girls went and sat on the knees of the various guys and put their boas around the guys� necks flirtatiously, I was seriously ready to gag. Ugh.

Tango, G. Rodriguez, P. Contusi, E. Maroni � Kurt Browning, Alexei Yagudin, Brian Orser

This part starts out with the girls standing around lit vanity tables talking about what their plans were for after the show � of course, most of the answers involved dates, husbands, or picking up guys. Lovely. Please, girls, I didn�t come to hear you talk. K Anyhow, they waltz off, flouncing their boas, and Kurt, Alexei, and Brian enter and basically tango solo, trading off jumps (I think the farthest they got was double axels), footwork, and the like. Nifty seeing three guys I adore on the ice at the same time, but otherwise, nothing spectacular.

And then the opening is over, and the solo spots begin�

Lord of the Rings, Original Soundtrack � Todd Eldredge
Choreographed by Olga Voloshinskaya

Okay, I must admit (do not kill me, Todd fans!) that Todd is not usually my favourite skater. However, seeing him live is, to me, an entirely different experience than seeing him on TV, and I�ve come to appreciate his power, great spins and generally excellent technique by watching him live. He landed, at my (probably inaccurate) count, a triple loop, a triple lutz, and� am I crazy, or did he land two triple axels?? He was jumping on the opposite end of the rink from me and my seat was crap, so the first might�ve been a double, but I�m pretty darned sure there was at least one triple axel in there. The program is a reworked version of his Olympic freeskate, and while I prefer the musical arrangement of the Olympic version, I love the LotR music, so it�s all good.

Michael Jackson Medley, Michael Jackson � Shae-Lynn Bourne & Victor Kraatz
Choreographed by Tatiana Tarasova & Nikolai Morozov

Wheee!! B&K rocked the house with, again, a slightly reworked version of their Olympic program � they cut out the Keep it in the Closet section entirely (boo hiss! that was one of my favourite parts!), added a Shae-Crusher to segue into the Smile section, and cut that section right before it would�ve gone into the diagonal footwork. Personally, I would�ve preferred to see them keep the Keep it in the Closet bit and cut the Smile section entirely, but� hey, it�s their call! The crowd went beserk the second the music came on, and they received a partial standing ovation.

Guitar, Ed Robertson � Kurt Browning
Choreographed by Roberto Campanella

Oh, Kurt, how much do I adore thee? Let me count the ways. Hee! I happen to think that watching Kurt�s feet move is worth the price of admission, and when he�s showing off Roberto Campanella choreo and skating to music composed by a member of my favourite band (the Barenaked Ladies, for anyone who doesn�t know), all the better! Kurt�s skating, and Campanella�s choreo, is what I feel pro skating should be all about � an exploration of what the blade and the body can do on ice. Interesting twists and turns, jumps (3T, 3S, a few 2As, by my count) out of nowhere, one-foot footwork, fantastic musicality� Kurt is my boy. J

Gold, Linda Eder � Kristi Yamaguchi
Choreographed by Sandra Bezic

I know there are a lot of people who aren�t thrilled with Kristi�s programs (the word "boring" comes up quite often with the non-fans), but I love this girl and I was thrilled to see her back on CSOI after a few years of skipping the Canadian leg of the tour. While there may be no spectacular or standout aspect of her skating, she does everything well � she�s such a complete skater, and the fact she�s kept all her jumps ten years after winning the Olympics speaks to that. She landed a very nice triple lutz, a triple loop, a triple toe and a double axel, and her flow across the ice is lovely to behold. SOI is going to feel bare without her as its marquee female. (I�m sorry, but to me, she is the tour�s marquee female, whether Tara is around or not.)

It Takes Chair to Tango, De Dios Filiberto, Caria Penaloza � Jenni Meno & Todd Sand
Choreographed by Christopher Dean

First of all, this was a very strange segue between Kristi and B&E; second of all, I found this number largely useless. I know Christopher Dean has been fascinated with furniture for the last few years, and last year�s Chairmen number was way cool, but Mr. Void? Time to get over the furniture fetish. Basically, the number consisted of Jenni sitting on a chair and Todd skating around with her while she remained in the chair. The death spiral with Jenni in the chair was kinda cute, but overall, what�s the use of a number where one skater�s feet never touch the ice?!

Never Tear Us Apart, INXS � Isabelle Brasseur and Lloyd Eisler

I don�t know where I would�ve put this program in the order of appearance, but I certainly wouldn�t have slotted it here. Didn�t work musically or thematically, IMHO. However, I liked this program a lot � it was a typical B&E trick number, but a little slower than most of their energetic programs, and included some interesting new tricks like a lateral twist with Isabelle dropping directly into Lloyd�s arms in a sitting position. The program begged for a throw jump, though � I wish they weren�t so adamant about not jumping anymore. The outfits were cute, too � a red sparkly long-sleeved backless dress for Izzy, and red-and-black tie-dye type jeans and a black t-shirt for Lloyd. Oh, and I take full credit for the music, because my sister and I have been talking about getting Iz and Lloyd to skate to this song since, like, 1994. Whee!

Overcome, Enigma � Alexei Yagudin
Choreographed by Tatiana Tarasova & Nikolai Morozov

I love Yags to death, but I haven�t been much of a fan of this program since he debuted it early this season. I don�t know, it�s just too� faux-angsty, and long. It did work a lot better live, though � "big" music of this sort totally suits Alexei, and I�m a sucker for the mime bits. He missed his triple axel attempt (opened up� it might�ve been a double, but I think he singled it), but landed several other triples, including (I think) a 3-3. He got huge applause before he even started (Kurt introduced him as the new Olympic champion and welcomed him to SOI), and got a standing ovation when he was done.

Vanity Tango, E. McGregor, J. Feliciano, J. Koman � Kurt Browning, Brian Orser, Todd Sand
Choreographed by Christopher Dean

And Mr. Void�s fascination with furniture continues! Again, I came to watch skating, not furniture gimickery. Plus, I absolutely despise El Tango de Roxanne (which the number is skated to). Blah. Oh, and this number also began with more of the girls (Kristi, Shae, and Lucinda) blathering about what makes the perfect man. Less talking, more skating, please. There�s exactly one member of this cast I�d pay to act, and hint! It�s not a female!

Can-Can, Offenbach � Kristi Yamaguchi, Shae-Lynn Bourne, Isabelle Brasseur, Jenni Meno, Lucinda Ruh

More campy butt-shaking and hip-wiggling from the girls. Sigh. The only thing good about it was the outfits, which were cute sparkly black dresses with ruffled can-can style skirts, and the fact that the number was mercifully short.

Because We Can, Fat Boy Slim � Cast

After much discussion by the girls of where their feather boas went, the guys, of course, come out dressed in Moulin Rouge style drag (corsets, the boas, and some of them were even in fishnets, ladies!) looking absolutely frickin� ridiculous� not to mention absolutely frickin� hilarious. LOL, I never thought I�d see the day when Victor Kraatz would agree to appear in public in drag, but hey, there�s a first time for everything! Kurt, Todd Sand, and I think Lloyd were the others in drag � pity we didn�t get to see Yags and Todd. *snicker*

No One in the World, Locust � Lucinda Ruh
Choreographed by Sandra Bezic & Michael Seibert

I must say, SOI is making great use of Lucinda. This is her only cold spot, and it�s a short one, but they�re using her for what she does best � spinning. I swear this girl gets twenty revolutions on one position sometimes. She doesn�t even attempt to jump, and when she�s at her dizzying best, no one even notices. It�s a great show highlight when used well, and an impressive few moments even when it isn�t. This is the type of thing SOI is good for � making use of lesser-known performers with certain fantastic performance qualities. They�ve done the same with Steven Cousins in the U.S. (even though I�m not a huge fan of his skating), and they also found a way to spotlight Lucinda very nicely.

The First Time, Roberta Flack � Jenni Meno & Todd Sand
Choreographed by Sandra Bezic

Great outfits � a blue-green sleeveless dress with detailing on the bodice for Jenni, matching shirt and black pants for Todd. Huge improvement over the terrible cotton-candy pink they had this attractive pair wearing last year! Anyhow, again, this program is not a huge departure for them, but highlights what they do best � elegant lines, impeccable positions (Jenni Meno has got one of the most beautiful arched backs in the world � every time she leans back it�s perfect), soft romance. Very nice throw double axel, death spiral, stag lift with her leg dropped behind his back, and I like how most of the choreo revolved around positions that either started with her in his arms or ended up dropping her back into his arms. Lovely.

Oh Yeah, Yello � Kristi Yamaguchi, Brian Orser, Kurt Browning, Lucinda Ruh

Hello weird segue! I would�ve put this bit somewhere else completely � it was completely jarring to see it after Jenni and Todd�s soft number. This was another gimmicky group number, with the four skaters skating in complete darkness while waving high-beam flashlights. I have to say, though, this one was interesting to look at, especially at its climax, when Lucinda spun in darkness at centre ice while holding the light, which produced a strobe-like effect. Much more fun than dragging furniture around the ice.

She Ain�t Pretty, Northern Pikes � Isabelle Brasseur & Lloyd Eisler

Weird placement yet again � at this point, I started to think that the arrangement this year was done totally according to billing instead of musical or thematic coherence, which, if true, is an incredibly bad idea. Of course you�ve got to work around billing to a certain extent, but they�ve managed much better coherence in past years. Anyhow, back to Iz and Lloyd� another reworking on their famous cross-dressing programs, with Lloyd in complete diva-wear (bustier, miniskirt, wig, the works!) and Iz in tough-guy biker jacket, bandana, and jeans. It included a reverse death spiral and Iz throwing Lloyd into a single axel, and the crowd ate it up. Standing ovation.

Your Song, Ewan McGregor, Alessandro Safina � Todd Eldredge
Choreographed by Richard Callaghan

Okay, by this point, the arrangement of programs was so incoherent that I�m going to stop talking about it. Right. So� Todd was really on tonight, and landed another textbook triple loop, a double axel (I think?) and another triple or two that I didn�t write down. He absolutely flew across the ice and the spins were spot on. Good work.

Sadeness, Enigma � Shae-Lynn Bourne & Victor Kraatz
Choreographed by Tatiana Tarasova & Nikolai Morozov

Dude, I love this program! It�s dark, it�s intense, it�s incredibly voidy, and did I mention that I love this program? Think a little bit of Time (their Pink Floyd hydroblading number from back in 94-95), a little bit of Return to Innocence (their soft, edgy Enigma signature from 95-96), a little bit of attitude from their MJ medley, and a lot of something new, and you�ve got this program. It�s focused low to the ice, with a lot of edge work and fancy hydroblading, and also some other fun things like triple twizzles while holding one knee. If they decide to stay eligible another year, I�d love to see them do an Enigma freedance, or at least something along these lines � it would not only be a new look for them, but it would also showcase a lot of their strengths in a way that could really work. Partial standing ovation.

Somewhere in Time, Rachmaninoff � Brian Orser

This was Brian�s only cold spot, and it was a fantastic one. The program starts out with Brian skating figures, and combined gorgeous footwork with solid jumps (double axels, triple salchow, backflip into double toe) and musical sensitivity that some of the younger guys out there right now would die for. Another partial standing ovation.

Trust a Try, Janet Jackson � Kristi Yamaguchi
Choreographed by Tina Landon & Sarah Kawahara

Okay, I know I said I was going to stop complaining about the order of appearance, but hello, did anyone even think of pairing this with B&K�s MJ medley? Would�ve made sense, eh? But no. Anyhow, I know people seem to prefer Kristi�s "prettier" programs, but I happen to think she�s one of the few skaters out there who can really dance, or at least who has the fluidity of movement necessary for really dance-y programs (unlike a certain other female who�s done a lot of pop-dance numbers in SOI in the past). It�s nice to see her let loose, and while she was at it, she landed another few triples and a double axel without a hitch. You go, girl.

Winter, Bond � Alexei Yagudin
Choreographed by Tatiana Tarasova & Nikolai Morozov

The crowd was cheering the minute he threw the first flakes of snow in the air, and didn�t let up. J He got his triple axel this time, along with a triple toe-triple toe and a triple lutz (I think� it might�ve been a flip). During the competitive season, I had issues with his straightline footwork sequence � even though many considered it to be a work of genius, I had problems with the fact that so much of it was choppy and done on two feet instead of including more interesting one-foot work. However, in a show program, it plays absolutely beautifully, and the crowd went wild. Big standing ovation.

Elevation, U2 � Kurt Browning
Choreographed by Roberto Campanella & Kurt Browning

Finally, two back-to-back programs that actually worked together!! Kurt picked up the energy left on the ice after Yags skated away at last and fed off it like only he can, dazzling the crowd with fast-moving feet, a triple toe, a triple salchow, and about a billion double axels (heh, I think there were actually three J ). Another big standing ovation.

Finale � Cast

Superstar, Karen Carpenter/Joi Cardwell � Lucinda Ruh, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shae-Lynn Bourne

The vanity tables and the girls come out again, this time in pale pink sequined minidresss with spaghetti straps. The ice was also bathed in pink lighting, which looked really cool despite the fact the Leafs logo was still on the ice from yesterday�s game. (Go Leafs go! J ) It started � you guessed it! � with Lucinda spinning, and then Kristi and Shae each got a minute to show off footwork or whatever. Shae does an admirable job of filling in for a singles skater in the group numbers � CSOI lacked women this year, with Josee not on tour and Tara injured/deciding not to come.

Close to You, Divine � Kristi Yamaguchi & Alexei Yagudin

This is the part where Kristi goes off and flirts with Yags, drives him nuts and then kisses him as he faints dead away. Lucky girl. Hee! Anyhow, Kristi and Yags made an unusual but surprisingly cute couple � Yags has that Kurt Browning way of dealing with all the ladies that makes me think he�d make a good match with just about any female skater in the cast.

For All We Know/Hurting Each Other, Divine, Wade O. Brown � Jenni Meno & Todd Sand, Brian Orser, Shae-Lynn Bourne

Let me digress a minute to say I wish they would�ve used actual Carpenters music instead of these new remakes and techno-fied versions. Anyhow, Jenni & Todd entered and did a death spiral and their signature stag lift with a drop exit, and then Brian Orser got to moon over Shae to Hurting Each Other while Shae made dramatic faces. Oh, the amusement of it all!

Top of the World, Jason Dean � Cast

This is where Todd got to lead out the rest of the guys and got to be all cool and jump and stuff while the rest of them skated in lines or circles. Yay Todd!

Solitaire, Karen Carpenter � Kurt Browning

Yay, real Carpenters! Kurt�s turn to moon and be dramatic and lyrics about being alone and not being able to find your true love are sung. But Kurt is so good at being dramatic and looking all alone that I actually really liked this part. Damn, Kurt could do a whole show called Mr. Void�s Furniture Fetish Show Totally Skated to Songs from Moulin Rouge (that I hate) and still make me pay money to see him. J

I Won�t Last a Day Without You/Say Goodbye to Love/I Need to be in Love, Jazmin, Kathleen Eyman, Linda Cara � Isabelle Brasseur & Lloyd Eisler, Shae-Lynn Bourne & Victor Kraatz, Jenni Meno & Todd Sand

Aside from Kurt, this was my favourite part of the finale � each of the three teams got a chance to be highlighted, and they also got a chance to work together, with some parts of the number focussing on three teams in unison, very nice. Great chemistry between all three of the teams, only I�m starting to get this eerie feeling that Isabelle & Lloyd have some repressed issues they like to deal with through SOI music � I mean, c�mon. In recent years alone, they�ve skated to I�ll Be Okay (from the soundtrack to My Best Friend�s Wedding, no less!), Never Tear Us Apart, I Won�t Last a Day Without You� errr�. Okay, please, people, no emails telling me they�re both happily involved with other people, I know that. I�m just kidding! J

We�ve Only Just Begun � Cast

The usual lines-and-circles bit leading into the big final bows. A better finale than it looks on TV for sure, and it drew huge applause from the crowd.

Final thoughts � this year�s show was better than I�d expected after seeing the U.S. version on TV, but it still had a lot of problems that are typical of the problems that have been plaguing SOI for the last few years. Too many gimmicks, too much talking instead of skating, and total lack of coherence in parts. The thing that used to make SOI great, The skating tour to be on, was the fact that the show as a whole was far better than the sum of its parts. Now, I feel like the show has a lot of great parts, but the sum total is coming up a little short. The new additions to the show are both great � Yags is a showman of the ultra-rare Kurt Browning type, and although I was initially dubious at the idea of Todd Eldredge joining the cast of SOI, he actually fits in beautifully and is a totally solid cast member that works well with the group and really stands out in his cold spots. I only hope SOI finds a way to adequately use them to add to the show as a whole as well as showcasing their individual qualities.

That�s all for this year, folks. Hope you enjoyed the review, and please e-mail me if you want to reproduce it, or parts of it, anywhere else. J

Review © 2002 by Y.T.S..